‭There's only two David Beckhams ePUB ô ‭There's


‭There's only two David Beckhams Ever wasted hours debating your ‘All Time England XI’ Well now it’s 2022 and the discussion is finally over England have eleven players as good as any of them The unbeatable national team have reached the final of the atar World Cup But one journalist is convinced there is a scandalous secret behind England’s incredible form His lifetime’s dream is to see the Three Lions win the World Cup But if he pursues and exposes the shocking truth his beloved England could be sent home in disgraceSuddenly this is much than England vs Germany; it’s Love vs Duty it’s Truth vs Happiness The pressure of the penalty shoot out is nothing compared to this There’s Only Two David Beckhams is John O’Farrell’s love letter to football; part detective story part sports memoir part satire on the whole corrupt FIFA circus; it just made the final for the funniest football fiction ever written

  • Paperback
  • 304 pages
  • ‭There's only two David Beckhams
  • John OFarrell
  • 06 April 2014
  • 9781784161392

About the Author: John OFarrell

John O'Farrell is the author of four novels The Man Who Forgot His Wife May Contain Nuts This Is Your Life and The Best a Man Can Get His novels have been translated into over twenty languages and have been adapted for radio and television He has also written two best selling history books An Utterly Impartial History of Britain and An Utterly Exasperated History of Modern Britain as well a



10 thoughts on “‭There's only two David Beckhams

  1. Karen Ross Karen Ross says:

    This book is genius and I wish I had written it More pace than Gareth Bale on the wing and almost as skilfully constructed The author is obliged to take some gambles with the names of those who will feature in football's future between now and 2022 and with only one exception overtaken by real life events of eual farce I reckon he's guessing correctly Anyway it's a superb premise Read it if you like football Definitely read it if you like fantasy football Read it and feel nostalgic if you're old enough to remember 1966 Buy it for someone else if any of the previous is applicableAnd I do hope someone grabs the film rights David Beckham would be pretty easily persuaded to appear and Guy Ritchie could have fun directingThis is almost certainly going to be one of my Top Ten books for the year Did I say I wish I'd written the damn thing? Buy it

  2. Joanne Sheppard Joanne Sheppard says:

    I was having a conversation with a couple of friends recently about books and one of them asked me to recommend something light and funny To my surprise I found that I really couldn't; it's been such a long time since I read something like that and enjoyed it The last time I attempted something along those lines I ended up reading Nick Spalding's Fat Chance which was without uestion one of the worst novels I've ever bothered to finishWhen I spotted John O'Farrell's There's Only Two David Beckhams in the Inverness branch of Waterstones while I was away this weekend however I remembered how much I enjoyed some of his other novels and thought this might also be entertaining Plus I'm starting to get excited about Euro 16 now we've had a wallchart up in our house for a week already and I've booked the day off work for our game against Wales and this is a book about the England football team More specifically it's about an England football team of the future that might just might be good enough to win the 2022 World CupWhen a relatively mediocre sports writer like as his opposite number on another newspaper observes 'a fan with a laptop' than a journalist discovers something about the team that could be the biggest scoop of his life he's torn Alfie could reveal the team's incredible secret and break the football story of the century but that would mean they're disualified from the tournament on the eve of the final As an England fan can he bring himself to scupper their chances?The plot is essentially an absurd fantasy so you do certainly need to suspend your disbelief for this one but this didn't stop me from getting a lot of enjoyment from this book and I laughed out loud many times It's daft yes but it's also observant and touching particularly when it comes to the role of football in Alfie's relationship with his son Tom While there is to the story than football however I certainly think it's fair to say that you probably need as I do to like football a lot to get the most from this book as a lot of the funniest jokes rely on you having some degree of football knowledge and a love for the game It's smartly written and does a fantastic job of capturing the ups and downs mostly downs let's face it of following the England teamMy only real gripe is that Alfie's world seems to be one in which only men like football His former partner leaves him partly over his devotion to the game his flatmate dumps his girlfriend because she whines about having to watch a game at the pub etc etc I appreciate that this is largely a book about men and male relationships which is fine and O'Farrell does this very well but it's possible to explore that without the women being either long suffering sensible types who think liking football is childish or whinging girlfriends who can't put up with 90 minutes of the national team on television once in a while In fairness this was a very small element of the book but it was sufficiently noticeable for me as a woman who likes football and is every bit as unambitious and easily distracted as Alfie too; I can never identify with the smartly decisive women who always seem to be being brisk and capable in books like this to be a little gratingThis is only a tiny issue though Overall There's Only Two David Beckhams is a light easy feelgood read It's extremely funny and has plenty of pace; it really did keep me turning the pages John O'Farrell is a clever observant writer and this is the perfect warm up read before Euro 16 kicks off

  3. Michael Ritchie Michael Ritchie says:

    I have no interest in football or understand the appeal and yet something attracted me to this book I'm glad it did Hysterically funny nose tappingly knowing and brilliantly observed even if I don't uite get ALL the references it's a very silly story that you can't help but get wrapped up in

  4. Peter Stiles Peter Stiles says:

    Brilliant Over the Moon On cloud nine Definitely a game of two halves and extra time of course and penalties obviously 2022 bring it on

  5. James James says:

    Football has rarely been successfully covered in fiction and unfortunately this book was no exception The reasons offered are normally along the lines of fictional stories rarely improving on the natural drama of a sporting contest but in this case it was a sense of humour that I just don't share and found it really tired Slapstick football can work with funny characters as in Mike Bassett England Manager but not with this castThe plot a ruse to write about England getting to a World Cup final as wish fulfillment is about a mystery discovery that a tabloid journalist has found in football that threatens to postpone the final involving England alongside a narrative about separated parents where the dad is trying to strengthen the father son bond But much of the story is about football matches whether those of his son on the TV at the pub or at the stadium This is a serious constraint as the descriptions have to be ever outlandish in order to be merit inclusion such as Raheem Sterling collecting a rebound from a penalty at the halfway line Few well taken finishes from through balls here Unfortunately the rather giddy prose adds to the impression of a story that is a bit immatureThe story was dull but it was the humour that made this an utter slog This book had clearly been written as a comedy but unfortunately most of the jokes were unoriginal and lazy there was the kissing of a woman in a Bura in atar whose coins with 'suiggles' on meant they had to redo the toss wittiness aside seemingly they first encountered this problem in the final match? and Americans talking about Soccerball There were jokes about players giving than 110% saying done fantastic and players diving It reminded me of the annual Wimbledon Mock the Week where comedians laugh at the women's groans when playing shots do people still find it funny after the first time they've heard it? I wondered why Tony Blair was named faithfully when he appeared only to see his B liar moniker later on the only surprise was that Gary Lineker featured but didn't s himself on the pitch which I'd have thought was fertile ground pun intendedThere were other annoyances including the use of asterisks for unfunny jokes unworthy of featuring in the prose itself and the constant invented dialogues of hypothetical commentators but the following passage opened one of the Chapters which I feel perfectly encapsulates the tone of the book It doesn't seem to fit naturally into the story either but if you find it funny I guess you'll love this bookIn 1870 the world's first international football match took place between England and Scotland I wonder if a couple of England fans went to the pub afterwards and reflected on the merits of the team they had just seen'So tell me who would be in your All Time England football team?''What do you mean my All Time England football team? There's only ever been one England football team Eleven players in eleven positions That's it''Hmm you're right This conversations a bit of a non starter isn't it?'

  6. Anthony Anthony says:

    John O'Farrell 2015 THERE'S ONLY TWO DAVID BECKHAMSLondon Black Swan 🌟 🌟 🌟 🌟 4 out of 5 stars The sleeve reads Ever wasted hours debating your 'All Time England XI'? Well now it's 2022 and the discussion is finally over England have eleven players as good as any of them The unbeatable national team have reached the final of the atar World Cup But one journalist is convinced there is a scandalous secret behind England's incredible form His lifetime's dream is to see the Three Lions win the World Cup But if he pursues and exposes the shocking truth his beloved England could be sent home in disgrace Suddenly this is much than England v Germany; it's Love v Duty it's Truth v Happiness The pressure of the penalty shoot out is nothing compared to this There's Only Two David Beckhams is John O'Farrell's love letter to football; part detective story part sports memoir part satire on the whole corrupt FIFA circusBig fan of O'Farrell and his brand of comedy writing I am and this one is short of funnies You don't have to get or understand football for this You don't even have to like football which I don't for this either The story though strays into a bit of sci fi and got a wee bit too far fetched However how O'Farrell hooks in real life people into this fictional story is and was pretty genius#JohnOFarrell #TheresOnlyTwoDavidBeckhams #JohnOFarrellTheresOnlyTwoDavidBeckhams

  7. Lynne Lynne says:

    Football is something I absolutely loathe particularly the culture it engenders in its over paid pampered melodramatic professional players who seem to dive and roll around at the brush of a sleeve as well as the tribal violence it can promote Having said that this book described as part love letter to football and part detective story is surprisingly enjoyable and in all honesty akin to a political satire I have read and enjoyed O'Farrell before and am familiar with his television work which accounts for why I handed over my 25p at the hospital for this Any other author would have been ignored Warmer and wittier than Nick Hornby's laddish 'Fever Pitch' this takes the perennial pub discussion of who would line up in the all time England suad evidently played in England but not here we might end up discussing our all time Welsh rugby suad and adds an imaginative and playful twist Set during the run up to the already infamous 2022 atar World Cup journalist Alfie uncovers the truth behind New Labour's investment in grass roots football and how FIFA in typical Bond villain mode work to counteract itPacked with affectionate jokes even if you don't like football and I certainly don't this is well worth reading

  8. Rob Manwaring Rob Manwaring says:

    This was fun funny and slight Some good tropes on being a fan and some funnydaft observations on British football especially in the set up I don't think the Carlton Palmer references might give this universal appeal I think though John O'F could have been a little braver with the plot and perhaps make of a Hornby impact

  9. Mark Mark says:

    Some way short of his best work Typically it contains plenty of O'Farrell's trademark humour and his knowledge and affection for the beautiful game come through but the the plot is weak and predictable

  10. Mark Wan Mark Wan says:

    hilarious in a weird way

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