The Friendship Crisis Finding Making and Keeping Friends

The Friendship Crisis Finding Making and Keeping Friends When You're Not a Kid Any As seen in Self Fitness Real Simple Health Ladies' Home Journal and Redbook this much praised celebration of women's friendships now in paperback explores the keys to forming emotionally supportive and sustaining connections at every stage in life Embraced by some of the most popular women's magazines this book has struck a chord with women everywhere who know that finding close friends as an adult isn't easy Most women rely heavily on their friendships with other women to share their joy and see them through the rough spots but common life changes having a baby leaving a job moving to a new town starting an at home business becoming divorced or widowed not only make it difficult to forge new ties but often fray the ones we already have Marla Paul brings together the moving personal experiences of many different women with the keen insights of psychologists and other relationship experts in her wise and helpful book on this much neglected subject says Harriet Lerner PhD

10 thoughts on “The Friendship Crisis Finding Making and Keeping Friends When You're Not a Kid Any

  1. Shea Shea says:

    I'm torn about this book; on one hand I thought I would get out of it than I did but on the other hand it was still helpful and interestingI found that most of the chapters didn't necessarily pertain to me personally I don't have widowed friends or even a lot that have kids and I haven't moved in a few years I did find myself taking a lot of notes and getting a lot out of the book It was nice to read little passages from real people and think that's happened to me Or I should have handled that this wayI think with friendships it's easy to forget that it does take work either when you're making a new one or trying to keep an old one I think this book reminded me of that and gave me a lot of good advice on how to handle my friendships with people For instance there was a part in the book that talked about having issues with a friend and what you should do about it One of the people who had wrote in to Paul summed it up for me you can either let it go or confront them about it While that seems really easy it's nice to have someone spell it out for you to simplify it and say look either get over it or mention it but don't let it stew That's advice I've actually used and gave recently I think this is a valuable book just for the sheer fact that we all have friendships and we all struggle with them from time to time It's good to be reminded that it's not just us and to also be reminded how to deal with issues that might arise Like I said I took a lot of notes while reading this book and hopefully I remember to use them in the future

  2. Dale Offret Dale Offret says:

    I picked up this book looking for a Friendship for Dummies or Friendship 101 type book This book is geared toward women who are looking to find friendship or re kindle old friendship I has sage advice for people not just women of all age on the topic of establishing and maintaining friendshipsThe book gave me a great foundation of understanding and background information on friendships I have had I recommend this book to those who struggle making friends or don't truly see the need to have strong friends

  3. David David says:

    pretty good book about adult women's friendships Anecdote packed drawing on her own experiences those of her friends and people who wrote her in response to newspaper columns about the difficulty of finding good friends once you're out of school She addresses some specialty topics such as the difficulty of staying friends with other women once one of you has kids and the other doesn't and the promise and pitfalls of emailinternet friends and of intentionally forming larger groups such as book clubs or knitting circles The tone is breezy the advice solid throughout The discussions of how to be a good listener and how to give or receive criticism were particularly thoughtfulAs a man and someone who's very low in extraversion and is pretty much content with having a few close friends i've known since 7th grade and a large circle of friendly acuaintances from work or my running hobby I realize I'm not the target audience but some of the anecdotes of friendship maintenance and friendship breakups made me nervous that I've been too neglectful of my friends Are a lot of grown ups really this into their birthdays for instance? A decent percentage of the problems or misunderstandings seemed to revolve around someone's forgetting or making an insufficient fuss over another's birthday

  4. Alyssa Alyssa says:

    Great suggestions for women who are new moms divorcees widows Not so great for men or single women who want to widen their circle A uick read Bowling Alone by Robert Putnam is a better choice if you're interested in why dynamics of friendship are shifting

  5. Rebeca Rebeca says:

    The book offers some good tips However it's becoming a little dated; as it was first published in the year Facebook was founded it's a bit shocking to read a chapter on online friendships and not find Facebook or WhatsApp mentioned in it

  6. Helena Helena says:

    If you are a middle aged or older straight woman who is either a mother a divorcee or a widow this book is for you It's well written and engaging However if that doesn't describe you then this book is not up your alley because the audience is narrowly defined

  7. Tom Quinn Tom Quinn says:

    I am a divorced remarried grown up who moved across the country changed jobs and turned 30 Is it any wonder my social circle has gotten smaller and smaller with time? The Friendship Crisis is not a cure all step by step guide for meeting new people despite what its subtitle suggests Finding Making and Keeping Friends when You're not a Kid Any But it was comforting to know that I'm not alone in feeling lonelyMarla Paul writes with a very warm and compassionate tone throughout and works in surprisingly poetic language for a non fiction book Her sentence structure is varied making for a uick pace you don't often see in this genre The target audience is women but I figured most of this is universal to all peopleAs for the content itself we have lots of uotes from interviews with relatable adults in similar situations But the advice is pretty straightforward and common sense make time for people prioritize friendship reach out to strangers and newcomers Join a support group or a club or a class These aren't groundbreaking ideas and they're nothing readers probably haven't advised themselves to do in various pep talks already I suppose that's where the self comes into self help The book won't magically make you new friends but it will help ease the feeling of self doubt Am I the only one who? that nags at a lot of us3 stars out of 5

  8. Cindywho Cindywho says:

    I saw this title reviewed in Library Journal and it piued my interest I'm often wondering if I don't have enough local friends and about the conflict between my needs for contact and solitude It's an easy and comforting read chock full of anecdotes and validation It's a relatively short book so the scope is a little narrow focusing on friendships between women only and it barely touched upon the difficulties of financial disparities between friends even though a lot of her anecdotal women go shopping together But the tone is friendly and there are useful ideas in it The funny thing is during the time I was reading it on my commute I've been working on a couple new friendships and come into contact with some old friends June 29 2005

  9. Chris Chris says:

    I went into this with the wrong expectations For instance it never occurred to me it would be solely written for women It was also a lot 'self helpy' than I thought it'd be And it failed at that It's full of anecdotes about woman who are really lonelyhave trouble making friends but then the author will just go on to give advice but it's never woven in what became of any of the people Also the advice is really banal stuff Give people space Join a knitting club etc There have been a lot of studies of the dearth of modern friendship digital world lack of worklife balance etc and personally making new close friends as a coupled 30something has been beyond difficult but this book isn't it

  10. Adrian S Adrian S says:

    I ended up with this book by mistake I wanted to buy something else but I was stuck on an airplane for 9 hours without anything else to do so I read it anywayAs much as I could gather the book is poorly written by and exclusively for suburban mothers promoting a typical soccer mom brand of friendship while remaining unaware that not everyone might want to socialize in that way and probably none of the girls I knowBut at the same time it was interesting to imagine what my own mother and grandmother might have gone through when they too slowly ended up socially isolating themselves in their married lives For their own sake and health I now wish they would have invested in their social circles Us kids would have been fine anyway

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